A Break From Being Me
by MC-GAR-IL
Summary: She's been taught how to use people and get them to love and fear her. But sometimes she wishes she had people she could relax around, at least a little because sometimes being Alison DiLaurentis is exhausting.
1. First Day of Summer

Getting up at the ass crack of dawn on a Saturday was not in Alison's plans. She had been out late last night at Noel Khan's end of the year party and didn't get in until almost three in the morning.

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The party had started out fine, she arrived at eleven thirty (fashionably late as always) and the alcohol was flowing the music was loud and most of the attention was on her. Alison was eating up the lustful stares of the guys and the envious ones of the girls, she was in her element. She did her usual rounds, gossiping with the girls who all strived for her attention, inconspicuously gathering new secrets to catalog away for future use, flirting with all the hopeful boys who thought they had a chance with her and categorizing them into who she could easily bend to do her bidding and who to keep a ten foot distance between at all times.

By the time one A.M rolled around she was pleasantly buzzed and had decided to take a break and dance. Her body had easily started rocking to the rhythm of the bass that was pumping from the speakers, letting herself get lost in the music for a bit. As one song bled into the next she felt hands come to a rest on her hips causing her body to tense. She spun around a scathing comment prepared on the tip of her tongue waiting to be released. Her fierce blue eyes met amused brown ones and she felt her lips tug down into a frown.

"Mind if I have this dance?" The confident voice of Noel Khan floated into her ears. She knew from the smirk on his face he didn't expect to hear a no but Alison didn't want to give him the satisfaction of hearing a yes so she shrugged one shoulder and turned back around to continue dancing.

That was her mistake.

See Alison knew that Noel wanted her. And she's sure she isn't exaggerating when she says most of the guys in school wanted to get with her. But Noel had taken a special interest in Alison, and the blonde wasn't going to tell him his little crush would never get him anywhere. Noel was a one of her best chess pieces on the board at the moment. He was loyal, willing to do any request Alison sent his way, and he could keep a secret, and if the price for this valuable piece was letting him dream that they could ever be a "they", then it was a small price to pay. Though sometimes he could get on Alison's last nerve. He was constantly trying to push the boundaries she put up for everyone, pushing harder for them to become an item, and Alison would always swiftly shut him down.

 _"You're sweet hun, but you still have a long way to go before I can even consider you in the race."_

Sometimes that would placate him and he would back off for a while, but lately he's actually taken her words as a challenge and has doubled his efforts. And it made Alison uncomfortable because she kinda considered Noel a friend and she didn't want to have to lose him because she genuinely wasn't interested in him.  
So she let him dance with her, swaying her body with the upbeat music while his hands rested on her hips following her lead. She had almost forgotten about his presence completely until a new song rolled in with a sensual bass and warm melody.

When the lyrics came into play Noel's hands started to wander. He tried to slide them down toward her ass but she quickly caught his hands and led them upwards again keeping them there. When she felt that he wouldn't try that again she released her hold on his hands and went back to dancing. But not even thirty seconds later he was stepping closer to her and running his hands up over her stomach. Feeling irritation bubble up inside of her she shrugged out his hold and moved away from him without even a backward glance. She decides to head to the kitchen and grab another drink.

She makes her way to the island in the middle of the kitchen where a giant cooler rests. She pulls out a strawberry daiquiri wine cooler. Leaning against the island she opens her drink and takes a swig silently watching everyone milling about in the kitchen.

She briefly wonders why she's even here. Sure it's what's expected of her, and she really does like the attention the feeling of control that sparks in her veins. But after a while being around all these people becomes tedious. She doesn't really care for anyone here so it's hard to find a reason to stick around after the hype of her arrival dies down. She's been taught how to use people and get them to love and fear her. But sometimes she wishes she had people she could relax around, at least a little because sometimes being Alison DiLaurentis is exhausting. Sometimes she feels like she could just give this all up, just runaway and start a new life somewhere new, maybe somewhere out of the country maybe a somewhere in Europe-

She's pulled out of her musings when a pair of arms wrap around her waist.

"Why'd you run off, I thought we were having fun dancing?"

Noel's slightly slurred voice brushes against her ear. Rolling her eyes she quickly shrugs him off and turns toward him crossing her arms over her chest.

"Back off Noel"

"Aww come on baby, this whole hard to get game is getting old."

Alison scoffs, "It's not a game, and I'm not asking you I'm telling you to back off now." She growls low and dark clearly sending a warning.

"Come on Ali what's the big deal, I'm a better choice than any of your other boy toys that you whore yourself out to-"

"Shut the fuck up Noel you don't know what you're talking about!" Her voice rose as she took a menacing step forward not even noticing the crowd that was watching on in anticipation.

"It's not like it's a secret, everyone knows how you go around slutting it up with every guy you meet, and I'm just giving you a chance to make an honest woman out of yourself for once." Noel ends his statement with a self assured smirk on his stupid face as he reaches out to caress her face. And if that wasn't bad enough the sound of stifled laughter fills the suddenly quiet room.

In that moment Alison sees red and in a flash she's throwing her drink in Noel's face and her other hand flies up and smacks him right in the face. Next thing she knows she's all up in his personal space basically growling at him.

"Listen up you prepubescent douche bag. I don't give a fuck what you think you know about me and it doesn't matter how many people you think I've screwed. When I tell you to back off you back. The hell. Off. And if you touch me again without my consent I will pick up the nearest sharp object and castrate you."

Alison steps around him heading toward the exit and the crowd of people that gathered there quickly separated not wanting to incur her wrath. Before she steps out into the main room she looks over her shoulder at a red faced Noel.

"And maybe you should lower your ego a bit hun, if I've had as many boy toys as you claim then what does that say about you since I don't even want to look at you let alone let you touch me."

And with that she strode out in true Alison DiLaurentis fashion.

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By the time she got home her makeup had been messed up from her rubbing her face to stop the tears that spilled without her permission.

She knew what people thought, what they said behind her back and sometimes to her face, but being called out for sleeping around always strikes a chord somewhere inside her. It wasn't true, she wasn't like that and she hated the looks people gave her, like she's less of a person, like she was some kind of joke.

She swore to god that she was going to make Noel's life a living hell from now on, but right now she had other things to attend to...

There's a nudge to her stomach followed by a whine that makes Alison's lip twitch up in amusement.

"Alright baby I'm coming"

Rolling out of bed she's met by a giant mass of fur that was the reason she was up at five thirty in the morning on a Saturday.

"Morning Pepe my sweet boy"

Running her hand through his fur she gently coos at the sheltie.

"Did that stinky old dad of mine and useless brother forget to take you out? I'm so sorry baby, give me five minutes and we'll go."

Honestly she doesn't ask much from her family, and waking a dog isn't that hard. But they forgot about her poor pup, although she should have expected that. They weren't exactly thrilled when he arrived.

She looks over at the dog as she shrugs out of her dress she didn't bother changing out of last night. He stares back at her sitting patiently by her bed panting no doubt from the exertion of holding his urine for such a long time.

He's such a good boy, he didn't even wet in the house, he just patiently waited for her to come home, even letting her get a little rest before he woke her up. And look at that face how could you not love him? Alison smiles again as she pulls on some jeans and a tank. Quickly finding a pair of flats and slipping them on, she makes her way to her bedroom door.

"Come on Pepe"

Before she even finishes her sentence Pepe rushes past her and runs down the stairs. Shaking her head at his eagerness she makes a quick pit stop at the bathroom pulling out the Aleve bottle in the cabinet and taking two from the bottle.

When she makes it downstairs Pepe is standing by the door tail wagging waiting for her. She grabs a water bottle and his chain and they make their way outside.  
Quickly downing the pills she allows Pepe to jog ahead of her and pee on the light post at the corner of the street. He waits for Alison to catch up and clip his chain on him before starting to walk again.

"Since you were such a good boy how about we stop at the park so you can stretch your legs for a bit?"

Pepe yips in excitement and Alison is just overwhelmed with love for him. Pepe is truly her only friend and the best friend there is. He's always there for her ready to provide comfort or a laugh whenever she was down, and was always an open ear for her to rant to. Fuck Noel, she didn't need him or anyone else; she had Pepe who loved her unconditionally. If she decides to run away she was definitely take him with her, maybe they could go to Paris it would be great maybe she'd even find a girlfriend for her pup.

"Pepe how do you feel about poodles?" He turns and gives her am unimpressed stare before he went back to sniffing around a tree.

"I know they look pretentious but you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Under that stuck up exterior they might actually be really nice and just want someone to love them." Alison trails off at the end not really sure if she was still talking about poodles.

Pushing those thoughts away she and Pepe continue down the block taking a left turn when they got to a crosswalk.

The park was now in sight right across the street. Looking both ways the duo make their way across the crosswalk. As soon as her feet hit the grass she unclipped Pepe's chain and he runs off doing laps around the sand box. It was such a cute sight it made the stress of the previous day melt away.

Honestly getting Pepe was one of the best things her mom had ever done for her. She'd have to remember to do something nice for her when she came back from her conference.

After his laps Pepe came back with a stick in his mouth placing it at Alison's feet.

"You wanna play boy? Okay"

She picked it up and tossed it to her left. Pepe dashed after it catching it in midair. He swaggered back to Alison obviously pleased with himself.

"Alright, alright, that was a good catch but don't get cocky. Let's see if you can do it again.

Cocking her arm back further Alison threw the stick harder than last time. Pepe dashes off again getting right under the flying object ready to leap and catch it again.

Suddenly his attention is stolen by the sound of feet hitting the pavement. He pauses letting the stick fly past him perking his ears up in interest. He tilts his head in the direction of the path that surrounds the park. His interest is peaked when he sees a girl in bright running tights and equally brightly colored shoes jogging by. Totally enraptured by the colors he runs after the girl easily catching up easily and matching her pace. He hears his momma call out for him but he can't help but want this new person's attention. Eventually the girl slows down and pulls something from her ears and looks at him.

"Hey there cutie, what are you doing here?" The girl bends down and scratches Pepe under his chin just like he liked. Leaning closer he sniffed the mysterious girl before deciding that he liked her. Giving a quick lick to her check the girl giggled in amusement.

"Pepe leave that girl alone."

Uh-oh, his momma doesn't sound happy. But he figures if she meets this girl he'll be forgiven, she's nice and his momma has been sad lately maybe this girl can make her smile. Turning in a circle and barking in excitement Pepe waits for his momma to come over.

Alison didn't know what got into her dog, he was really friendly but he didn't usually go off and bother people. Realizing that he wasn't going to listen, Alison jogs over to her mutinous dog and the strange girl that he was cuddling up to.

"Pepe come on let's go."

But her dog just ignores her and continues to sit next to the girl nuzzling her hand.

"I'm sorry about him, he's just really affectionate."

"It's no problem, really, he's actually really cute," Pepe barks and stands up on his hind legs "and really energetic" the girl giggles and Alison takes a moment to really look at her.

Honestly she's beautiful, tall, tan and lean with a cute shy smile on her face. Alison tries to figure out if she's ever seen this girl around but her mind draws a blank.

"So what kind of person willingly wakes up before ten on a Saturday?" Alison says casually trying to pick up a clue on this girls identity.

"One who is captain of the swim team and has to stay in shape."

Oh she's a swimmer, figures, the one sports team she doesn't keep tabs on.

"But summer just started and it's Saturday."

The girl shrugs, "It's a habit now, plus Sunday is my rest day and running helps clear my head."  
Giving her another once over Alison notices how toned her arms really are and silently approves of the alluring view her tank top provides.

"Well you definitely have the arms of a swimmer; all those laps in the pool have paid off."

Alison casually brushes her fingers across the other girls' forearms feeling the muscles jump under her touch.

"T-thank you" the girl blushes and ducks her head. Alison just shrugs but can't help the slight smile that tugs at her lips.

"Um, you're Alison right?" The girl asks.

"Yeah that's right; I guess you've heard of me."

"I'm pretty sure everyone has heard of you.

Alison frowns for a second wondering what this girl has heard about her, which of the rumors has made its way to her ears and if she believes it all.

She hopes not.

Turning her facial expression back into a playful one she speaks again."Unfortunately I haven't had the pleasure of hearing about you."

Suddenly deep brown eyes lock onto her slightly shocked blue ones. Alison wonders where this burst of confidence is coming from but can't deny it adds to the allure of this mysterious girl.

"I'm Emily, Emily Fields"

"Emily... What a pretty name. Nice to meet you Emily Fields"

They stare at each other for a while both smiling unaware of anything else.

They're broken out of their reverence by a soft bark. Reaching out and petting her little troublemaker Alison introduces him, "And this here is Pepe."

"It's nice to meet you Pepe" Emily jokingly holds out her hand for a shake and startles when Pepe reaches his paw out and places it in her hand humming in getting.

"Pshh showoff" Alison rolls her eyes at her dog but can't help the amusement dancing in her eyes. "Sorry we interrupted your run."

Emily shakes her head, "Its okay I was just finishing up anyway. So what made you get up willingly before ten this Saturday."?

"I was out last night and my family forgot to take Pepe out for a walk, my poor baby was suffering all night," Alison bends down and ruffles his fur, "Isn't that right Pepe. The only person you can rely on in that house is me." She coos at the dog getting swept up in his adorableness.

Emily's laughter brings her attention back to the brunette.

"Sorry it's just, you and him are really cute," Alison smiles suppressing her blush, "Plus you seem different then I thought you'd be."

Standing back up the blonde shrugs, "Even the infamous Alison DiLaurentis takes a break from herself every now and then." Pepe whines and bumps his head into Alison's thigh.

"Oh so now _you're_ rushing _me_? Well you'll have to wait a moment mister." Alison turns her attention back to Emily who was looking at her curiously. "He refuses to eat when he has to go so he's probably starving right now so I should go feed him."

"Oh, umm okay," Alison watches as Emily's shy demeanor comes back, "I guess I'll see you around then?"

"Yeah I'd like that. Actually do you have your phone on you?"

Emily detaches her phone from an arm band she was wearing, unlocks it and hands it over to Alison the blonde does the same and they exchange phones. Quickly putting in her information and snapping a picture of herself before saving the information.

"Here now there are two reasons for us to meet up. One you have my number so I'll expect a text when you get home. And two that picture is not up to my standards since I look like a hot mess right now."

Fiddling with the phone in her hands Emily suddenly blurts, "I think you look beautiful"

A cute smile appears on the blondes face.

"Why Ms. Fields are you trying to butter me up with flattery? Well if you heard that I like having my ego stroked then I can confirm that rumor to be true."

Deciding to quit before the poor girl exploded from embarrassment Alison clipped Pepe's chain back to his collar and turns away from the red faced brunette.  
As she walked away Alison looked over her shoulder and winked, "I'll be eagerly anticipating your text Emily."

And then she finally walked away enjoying the slight fluttering she was suddenly feeling in her chest.

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 **MC:** Hey everyone, *you guys probably*(damn max, back at it again with staring a new multi chap fic). Yup I couldn't resist. Honestly I had like 5 or six stories for emison/pll started on both my phone and computer but couldn't find the inspiration to finish any of them. Honestly shout-out to Drea82581 author of "What's a Girl to do?" and Packersgirl492 author of Guardian Angel, reading their great stories inspired me to finally finish one of the stories I had laying around, so if you haven't already go read their stories and leave them some nice words in a review!

So about the story, as you can see it's AU, set during the summer before junior year. I'm pretty excited about this idea, it's actually mostly fluff which is good for the soul. The title is tentative and is subject to change, especially if you guys have any ideas. My goal for this story? Emison endgame obviously, but also having Alison connect with all the girls, and to please my inner Ali-stan! So fav/follow/and drop review if I've happened to catch your interest, next chapter will definitely have more emison!


	2. Trust

Closing her front door behind her Alison takes a quick glance at the time on her phone. Seeing that it was half past six she figures that her dad is up by now and should be wandering down soon for his coffee soon. Since she was in a good mood she decided to get the coffee maker ready for him so all he had to do was press the start button.

After that's ready she makes her way to the sink and fills a glass with cold water and grabs a can of pedigree from the pantry. She goes over to Pepe's bowls and starts to pour the water in the left bowl. Pepe trots over trying to stick his face into the bowl and drink.

"Pepe wait till I'm done" Alison says sternly. Plopping his butt down in patience Alison finishes up with his food.

After she finishes she stands up and brushes her hands against her jeans and stepping back.

"Okay go ahead"

Not sticking around to watch him eat Alison makes her way upstairs ready to shower away the grime from last night. As she steps through her bedroom door her phone vibrates in her pocket. A wave of anticipation passes through her body and she tells herself to calm down. Taking a seat at her desk she opens the bottom right drawer taking out a new leather bound journal and placing it in front of herself. With that done she reaches into her pocket and takes her phone out quickly opening her new message.

 _Emily_ : Alison?

 _Alison_ : that's what it says on my birth certificate ;p

 _Emily_ : I was just worried that maybe you put your number in wrong or something

 _Alison_ : you mean you thought I would have given you the wrong number on purpose

 _Emily_ : that's not true!

 _Alison_ : hey it's okay, I know my reputation in this town I would have been suspicious too

 _Alison_ : I've actually done that before

 _Emily_ : really?

 _Alison_ : sometimes when a guy won't leave you alone you gotta pretend to give them what they want

 _Emily_ : I don't know if I could do that...

 _Alison_ : that's because you're sweet, and I'm not, actually word around town is I don't know how to love

 _Emily_ : that not true! I saw you with Pepe today and you were so sweet to him and it's obvious you love him!

 _Alison_ : :)

 _Alison_ : what are you doing today?

 _Emily_ : I have to run some errands for my mom later but after that I don't have any plans

 _Alison_ : what time are you going?

 _Emily_ : around 2 probably

 _Alison_ : great! I'm coming along

 _Emily_ : you don't have to do that...

 _Alison_ : I don't have any plans today, plus I'm trying to make some new friends and lucky you gets to be my first one

 _Emily_ : I'm sure you have way more interesting people to hang out with

 _Alison_ : get over it Fields you're stuck with me

 _Emily_ : okay

 _Alison_ : good I'll text you later to see where we'll meet up

Placing her phone down on the desk Alison tries to dispel the smile that had appeared on her face and was failing miserably. Biting her lip she reaches for a pen that was resting in a holder and uncaps it. Opening the new journal she had pulled out and looks at the blank first page. Thinking for a moment she titles her entry "Taking a Break"

 _Summer. Usually I would be making dozens of plans with all the somebodies of Rosewood. But I've grown bored of hanging out with people I don't really care about. So I've decided that this summer I'm taking a break from being The Alison DiLaurentis. And the first step in that plan is making friends with people I normally wouldn't look twice at. It would be nice to maybe actually find people I enjoy hanging out with, maybe friend aren't as overrated as I first thought._

 _Actually I think I already have set my plan in motion. I met a girl today while walking Pepe; she was shy and sweet and apparently the captain of the swim team. I don't remember seeing her around school so she must like to stay under the radar, a good first choice since I love the spotlight. I think I'll call Girl Crush, and she is definitely crush worthy, she's honestly super pretty, beautiful really, although I don't think she realizes it._

 _Anyways GC and I are going to meet up later to hang out, maybe she has other friends I could meet, although I already have an idea on who I should recruit into my new crew next._

 _Oh and note to self, remember to ruin Noel Khan's life._

Closing the book she contemplates hiding it in one of her secret spots, but decides against it. She figures she won't have any juicy secrets to document in it so she puts it back in the drawer she got it from.

Now time for that shower.

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She and Emily meet in front of the supermarket at two thirteen. Emily's mom was apparently called into work and had asked Emily to pick up some extra ingredients for dinner.

Alison forced Jason to drop her off, even though he complained about it the whole time. Honestly he's so annoying, it wasn't like she made him leave the house, and he was on the way out anyways.

When she got there Emily was waiting for her by the entrance. Gone was her running gear and in its place was an off the shoulder gray T-shirt with light blue capris and gray converse. It amazed Alison how she could just be standing there looking shy and unsure and dressed casually but still seem like a model. The blonde was sure that if she were to take a picture of her in this moment that it would be flawless.

Pulling herself out of her thoughts she threw a thanks over her shoulder as she stepped out her brothers car. He didn't even offer a goodbye as he quickly pulled out of his parking spot and sped off. Typical.

She shakes off all thoughts of her idiot brother as a large grin took over her face when she looked in Emily's direction again.

"Hey Emily!" She called out jogging toward the other girl. Emily's eyes quickly locked into Alison and a relieved smile broke out on her face which caused Alison's grin to falter.

"Hey I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long, my brother gave me a hard time about dropping me off."

"It's fine, I'm just glad you're here... Come on let's go in." Emily turned intent to walk to the supermarkets entrance but Alison stopped her.

"Emily wait." Taking a deep breath Alison decides to deal with this now not wanting this friendship thing to be any harder than it needs to be.

"You didn't think I'd show up." It obviously wasn't a question but Alison still waited for a response.

Emily looked like she was caught but her head started to shake in the negative.

"What of course I did why would I-"

"You know, you're not a very good liar Emily. And I would know I'm the queen. But I'm telling the truth when I say that I want to be your friend but it won't work if you keep expecting me to turn on you."

For a moment it's quiet, Alison stands there with her arms crossed protectively waiting for a response while Emily chews her lip in contemplation still slightly turned away from the blonde.

The brunettes' shoulders sag and she lets out a quiet sigh.

"I was waiting for fifteen minutes" Alison silently curses Jason for making Emily wait that long. "And the first five minutes were okay; I just figured you were running late. But then when ten minutes went by I remembered hearing about that time you and some friends invited this girl, Ashley Garcia, to hang out. And she went to the meet-up spot and she waited for you guys for an hour. But you never showed up."

Alison felt guilt gnawing her stomach. She remembered that incident. She also remembers how the next day she tried to talk to them and they just laughed and walked past like she wasn't even there.

Alison wasn't proud of a lot of things she's done to the kids at school, but she usually pushed her guilty conscious to the back of her mind. Instead she would focus on how it would feel good when her "friends" would praise her after every terrible dead, and the satisfaction of once again gaining the attention of everyone.

But right now with Emily standing there with her scared posture and guarded eyes she couldn't help but feel the crushing weight of all the guilt she built up suddenly hitting her.

"So every minute afterward I stood here feeling stupid, I didn't know why I was still waiting for you but my feet wouldn't move. But every minute that passed by I couldn't help but ask myself why I had given you the benefit of the doubt, that there was no way you really wanted to hangout with a nobody like me, that I should forget I even bumped into you. But instead I stood here and I waited."

Emily finally turned and faced Alison, gaining confidence as she continued to speak until she was standing at her full height and was staring the blonde straight in the eyes.

Alison reached out for Emily's hand that was balled into a first giving it a squeeze, but her touch was rejected when the brunette pulled away from her and took a step back. Alison resisted the urge to try and close the space between them even though it made her feel upset being so far away from Emily at this moment. Instead she matched Emily's stance and put on her No Nonsense face.

"I know I'm a bitch. And I know I've done terrible things, and I've hurt people without a second thought. And yeah you have no reason to trust me, but I'm asking you to. I'm trying this whole honesty thing out this summer so I'll be straight up with you. You're right I normally wouldn't give you the time of day, but like I told you this morning, even The Alison DiLaurentis has to take a break from herself. And that's what I want to do this summer. I really do want to be your friend."

If felt weird opening herself up like that. She felt like taking it all back, laughing in Emily's face and telling her she couldn't believe she fell for that. She felt like crawling out of her skin for giving someone the power to hurt her and her stomach knotted thinking that Emily wouldn't believe her. God how was she going to make it through this summer, she couldn't even handle being truthful with this sweet girl in front of her without wanting to say something to her before she got hurt herself. But Alison held firm and waited for Emily to say something. Maybe this was a test from karma or something testing Alison to see if she could actually be genuine with somebody for five minutes.

So she bit the inside of her cheek and kept up their unwavering eye contact and waited.

After what felt like forever Emily nodded her head a smile and a slight blush appearing on her face.

"Okay"

"Okay?"

"Okay, I believe you"

A breathe Alison didn't even know she was holding finally escaped her; it felt like some of the weight she constantly carried on her shoulders was lifted. Acting on impulse she closed the distance between her and Emily and brought the brunette into a hug.

"Thank you" she whispered into the side of the taller girls' neck, relishing in this new feeling of comfort.

At first Emily just stood there shocked not expecting the sudden contact but started to relax after Alison gave a gentle squeeze to her midsection. Emily brought her arms up and wrapped them around the blondes' neck adjusting herself so they both melted into the hug.

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"So what are we here for?" Alison asked as she held her hands behind her back trailing behind Emily as they walked through the vegetable isle.

"Um, tomatoes, spinach, ricotta and salt." Emily listed off while picking up a tomato and inspecting it, "Mom wants to make lasagna tonight."

Alison nods and looks over Emily's shoulder watching as she put down the tomato she was holding and pick up another one. Stepping back and spinning around Alison quickly spots the mini-plastic bags used to hold fresh produce. She walks over and takes one before saddling up next to Emily and trying to open one. Rubbing the ends of the bag together Alison wonders why they make it so hard to open these bags. Finally after what felt like forever she gets it up letting out a noise of triumph and holds it open for Emily to place the tomatoes in. The brunette on the other hand was watching the blonde with a smile wondering how this cute girl in front of her can be the same one she's seen walking through the halls of Rosewood high like she owned the place. Shaking her head in disbelief she gently places three tomatoes into the offered bag.

They both walk further down the aisle quickly finding the spinach and placing it in the shopping basket that was hanging on Emily's arm. Deciding to get the ricotta next they start waking to a new isle.

"So Emily, do you have any special plans this summer, maybe with some friends, or maybe a boyfriend." Alison prods

Emily shakes her head, "There are no boyfriends around me... Right now" she says awkwardly. A brief silence passed between them causing Alison to raise an eyebrow interest peaked but before she can interrogate her Emily quickly speaks again.

"But I uh, I do have plans next Saturday with my friend Hanna. She went to go visit her aunt for the week but she insisted we hang out at the mall when she gets back so she could "find me some summer outfits that wouldn't cause a fashion nightmare". Her words. Which I don't get at all, I like my clothes and I think I look fine. But secretly I think she just wants to get me into some dresses." A fond smile appears on Emily's face as she thought about her friend.

"Hanna?" Alison questions. There were at least twelve Hanna's at their school and Alison knew of three of them. But there was one in particular that she knew from back in freshman year. She had a huge crush on Sean Ackard that practically everyone in her circle knew about. She was shy but sweet (like Emily) and was heavier than most girls their age. And one day she had gathered the courage to approach the popular tables to try to talk to Sean but before she could get too close someone had tripped her causing her to fall and spill her chocolate pudding all over her pink shirt. They had all started laughing, pointing and whispering. The poor girl struggled to get up and the laughter increased. Finally when she got up she looked around with tears dotting her eyes. And Alison being the bitch she was just had to put the final nail in the coffin and called out to her

"Why don't you run along hefty, but tread carefully you wouldn't want to cause an earthquake."

And thus the nickname "Hefty Hanna" was born.

God please don't let it be her, anyone else besides-

"Yeah Hanna Marin"

Fuck

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Stepping out of the supermarket Alison was glad that the warm summer afternoon was accompanied by a cool breeze. Looking out toward the parking lot she scans the cars wondering which one belonged to Emily.

"So what kind of car does Emily Fields drive?"

"A Toyota Corolla, but I don't really use it much. I like to bike most places I like the fresh air. Actually I biked to the store today."

Emily leads them over to the stores bike rack that only held a black mountain bike with a tan wicker basket attached to the front which honestly looks out of place on the sleek bike.

Alison raises an eyebrow and gives Emily a look that says explain.

"The basket usually isn't on there but I bought one for times like these when I have to pick something up for my mom. And don't worry we both can get on, you can just ride on the pegs."

"Is that even safe?"

"Yeah it'll be fine, I only live about five minutes away and I've given someone a ride on my bike before."

Walking over to the bike she pulls a black helmet out of the basket and places the lone shopping bag in.

"If it'll make you feel safer you can wear my helmet."

Alison eyes the offered object warily before nodding slowly and taking it from Emily. She places the helmet on her head and tries to adjust the straps to tighten it. She struggles for a moment before gentle hands stop her.

"Here let me"

Emily expertly tightens the straps stopping when Alison gives her the okay. As she moved her hands away she gently moves a stray piece of blonde hair from Alison's face.

"Perfect"

Emily just barely whispered the word, and her warm breath caressed Alison's cheek. Smiling brightly she stepped back from the slightly dazed blonde and went to unlock her bike.

Alison wasn't sure what just happened, maybe she was over thinking things but it definitely felt like they were just having a moment there. Furrowing her brows she stores this moment away for later inspection. Emily calls Alison over and she walks up to the brunette who was stated on the bike.

"Okay so you're going to have to wrap your arms around my waist, good thing you're shorter than me it'll be more comfortable for both of us." Alison does as instructed and wraps her arms around Emily's waist from behind, "Okay now step onto the pegs and hold on tight."

"I don't know about this Emily..."

"It'll be okay, you do trust me?" Emily turned so she could stare at Alison. The blonde is struck by the intensity in those brown eyes. She found herself nodding slowly not even thinking about how odd it must be to trust someone so much despite just meeting them. But as she climbed on the back of Emily's bike and held on tight as Emily began pedaling she decided that this girl wouldn't hurt her and that for once Alison could just let someone into her highly built walls.

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 **MC:** And then they rode off into the sunset and lived happily ever after. The End

Just kidding! If only it were that easy. Now I know I said this is fluff, and that's true, but mostly that just means between Em and Ali, but with the other girls Alison is gonna have to work a bit to be on her side, especially Hanna. Hey I'm still an angst and drama hoe so I gotta get my fix somewhere! Also I'm a firm believer in not letting things fester, ifyou've got something to say, speak now or forever hold your peace, so I'm glad Em got her insecurities out there and Ali comforted her :)

I actually wasn't gonna work on this till later but I was reading Affair by emisonislifeok and I got to the end of chapter 7 and I literally noped so hard that I wrote this entire chapter in order to avoid _that_ mess at least for a while, but damn that story is good. Last thing I'll say is I was listening to Control by Halsey on loop and I just realized that the song is Alison DiLaurentis as fuck (well it also fits Charlotte too) and I ended up listening to it while writing this. Idk if I can do it, but I feel like that could inspire an angsty introspective character analysis fic based on her, just throwing that out there.

Thanks so much for all the favs/follows/and reviews guys, it's nice to know you guys are enjoy, keep em' coming I like to know what you guys are feeling and what you think might happen and all that good stuff! See ya next time guys!


	3. There were times we were friends but

Full Chapter Title: There were times we were friends but times I was so cruel

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 _"Ali shush!"_

 _Giggles continued to pour out of the tiny blondes' mouth._

 _"Shh you gotta be quiet else my mommy is gonna find us"_

 _The blonde kept giggling but she brought her tiny hands up to cover her mouth muffling the sound. The two girls continued to maneuver down the steps of the darkened Hastings house. As soon as they hit the bottom of the stairs Spencer quickly looked around the corner making sure no one was in the living room. After deeming it safe she signals Ali to follow her. They swiftly make their way to the back door. Unlocking the door and slipping outside Ali let's out more giggles and reaches out for Spencer's hand._

 _"We did it Spencey, we're so bad." Ali exclaimed, drawing out the 'o' in her so. The blondes' laughter becomes contagious and the brunette joins in on her friends' merriment. Soon their laughs turned into them trying to shush each other which just resulted in more laughter because they kept talking over each other._

 _Deciding to take the initiative Ali tugged on Spence's hand and started leading her through the backyard. When they made it to the beginning of the forest that surrounded the back of their houses._

 _"Are you sure about this Ali?"_

 _"Don't worry Spencey no one will find out this'll be our secret spot."_

 _Nodding her head she follows Ali as she walks into the forest. The first thing they both notice is that it's super dark. The slight light the moon provided was swallowed up by the giant trees that loomed over them. The seven year olds swallow slowly feeling slightly intimidated._

 _Ali squeezes Spence's hand and huddles into her side. Feeling a wave of protectiveness wash over her Spencer squeezes Alison's hand and turns toward the shorter girl._

 _"Don't worry Ali the dark isn't so bad, besides I brought a flashlight." Reaching into the pocket of her hoodie Spencer pulls out a mini silver flashlight and clicking it on. It gave off enough shine to light the ground right in front of them._

 _"Just stay close to me, I'll keep you safe." Alison looked up at Spencer with trusting eyes and nodded._

 _Their walk was short and the only obstacle they encountered was the occasional big tree root that had overgrown above ground. They made it to a mini clearing that only had a fallen trunk that had been shaven down and could fit three people comfortably, and there was a small red tent that the two have them had spent the past three days sneaking off to set up._

 _When they approach the tent Spencer reaches out and unzips the front of it. Pulling back a flap she shines the light inside to make sure no animals had snuck in. Deeming it clear she nudges Alison to go in and she follows behind. Once they're both inside Alison clicks on the lantern they had stashed while Spencer zips the opening back up._

 _"We did it Spencey, we actually made it out! Phase one of my plan is complete!"_

 _Spencer furrows her eyebrows this was the first time she was hearing about a plan._

 _"Whatta you talking about Ali, what plan?"_

 _"Our plan to run away forever, just you and me."_

 _Spencer rolls her eyes at Alison's excitement._

 _"We can't just run away."_

 _"Why not?"_

 _"Cause we got responsibilities and commitments we have to honor here."_

 _Alison pulls on Spencer's hand making the brunette sit next to her._

 _"I know you like to use big fancy words Spence but you sounded more like your mom just now."_

 _Spencer shrugged, "That what she always tells me when I ask why I have to do things I don't wanna."_

 _"You mean like going to your sisters recital tomorrow?"_

 _Spencer frowns at the mention of Melissa._

 _"I don't wanna go. Mom and dad always look so happy when she plays and, and they give her such big hugs when she's done, and they tell her they're proud of her." Spencer's bottom lip protrudes and her eyes mist up, she sniffs in an attempt to keep her tears at bay. "When they come to my recitals all they ever say is how I have to practice more, that I should be more like Lissa. They only time they hugged me was after my first recital and it's not fair."_

 _Tears start to slip down Spencer's but she tries to stop them by rubbing the sleeves of her sweater across her face. Alison instantly crawls closer and wraps the taller girl up in a hug._

 _"I'm proud of you Spencey"_

 _"Really?" She sniffles_

 _"Mhmm, you play really good-"_

 _"Well" Spencer corrects, but Alison just rolls her eyes and pretends that she didn't hear her._

 _"And my mommy is always telling me to play like you so I can do recitals too, but recitals are for dorks which fits you but one of us has to be the cool one."_

 _Spencer gently shoves Alison's shoulder in offense and the blonde just wrinkles her nose and starts to giggle again._

 _"Don't you see Spencer, this is why we gotta run away, our parents don't care about us, all we got is each other. Ali and Spence against the world. We don't need any stinky older siblings or dumb parents."_

 _A smile creeps onto Spencer's lips and her heart feels like it's bursting with happiness. Raising her little pinky up she extends it to Alison._

 _"Ali and Spence against the world?"_

 _Smiling brightly Alison quickly reaches out and hooks her pinky with Spencer's._

 _"Forever and always."_

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For Alison it felt like the week flew by. Hanging out with Emily was really fun, she found it easy to talk to her, and even when she didn't want to talk they would just sit in silence and it was never awkward. It felt nice to be able to speak to someone without carefully planning each sentence you uttered, but even though it was easy to talk to her she still found it hard to answer any probing questions. Questions about school and her other friends usually got Emily vague and evasive answers and anything about her family got immediately shut down, the only person she willingly talked about was Pepe (who by the way joined them on almost all their outings). But Emily didn't push and was patient with her.

So instead they talked about things they both like to do places they like to visit music they like to listen to. Alison did ask about Emily's family and unlike her the brunette seemed excited to share details about them.

Alison sat and listened enraptured by the way Emily's eyes shined when she talked about her mother and how she was always there to listen and offer words of wisdom, and how she got bashful when she talked about her father and how he was the more silly parent and how she admired his strength and how he always made her feel safe and gave great hugs (and after some probing admitted to being a daddy's girl), and then her bashful expression got sad when she told Alison how her dad was in the army and was away often and how she missed him a lot. It was obvious from the way she spoke that she loved her parents dearly and the feeling was very much mutual, it made a pang of longing, maybe even jealously, flare up in Alison's chest. Sometimes it was hard to ignore how aloof her father was how hostile she and Jason were to each other and how hot and cold her mother could be. It was especially hard when confronted by what was obviously a healthy functional family that stuck together because of love and not deep dark and well buried secrets and obligation.

But she swallowed those feelings, not ready to deal with that muddled part of her life, and smiled genuinely at her friend and dismissed the brunettes' worries saying she was fine when her eyes got distant and lost.

When they weren't talking they were at the park with Pepe, or at the Brew which Alison learned Emily works at, they even went over to Emily's house once to watch TV which resulted in Alison meeting Mrs. Fields and then she made them milkshakes (which was like heaven in Alison's mouth).

But all too soon Saturday rolled around and Emily was off to hang out with Hanna at the mall. The brunette did try to invite her along but Alison declined honestly not ready to face Hanna right now. She knew she would have to talk to Hanna eventually but she needed time to figure out what she would say, plus she didn't want to ruin her and Emily's day together with Alison and Hanna arguing (which was a best case scenario in Alison's head, worst case Hanna wouldn't even talk to her and Emily would stop hanging out with her after finding out how she hurt her friend). So today while Emily was out Alison was going to tackle a different obstacle.

An obstacle that she hasn't had a decent conversation with since freshman year.

As she sits at the table biting into a piece of toast she thinks about what to do. She knows there's a very real chance that she'll be turned away and she doesn't really know how to even begin this conversion if she even gets the chance. Sorry wasn't going to do much, but sorry is really all she has to go with. Besides it should be obvious that she's being sincere, and once they see that it'll be easy.

Deciding that she shouldn't psyche herself out Alison only thought positive thoughts. She was feeling a lot better about her upcoming conversation by the time she finished the last bite of her breakfast. Just as she places her fork down on her plate a bowl is carelessly placed on the table followed by Jason slumping down into the seat across from her. Normally they would just ignore each other but Alison decided to change it up for once.

"Morning"

Jason grunts as he pinches the bridge of his nose. Alison observed the way his forehead was creased and how his tightly shut eyes were pronounced with the bags that sat under them.

"You look like shit, rough night?"

Jason opens his eyes into slits and glares at her.

"Don't you have anything better to do than annoy me."

Alison flashes him a sickeningly sweet smile, "Silly, I always have time for my favorite brother."

"Whatever you want the answer is no." Jason moves his hand to scratch at the stubble that adorned his cheeks.

"Have you ever thought about growing a beard?"

Jason stops his scratching and stares at her for a long moment. "Whatever game your trying to play, don't."

Alison shrugs, "I'm just trying to make conversation."

"We don't do conversations Ali."

"We could try."

Jason just scoffs and turns his attention to his cereal shoving a spoonful into his mouth. Alison decides not to push him anymore not in the mood to get into their normal shouting matches especially since he was more volatile when hung over. So she stands up and goes to place her plate in the sink. As she makes her way out of the kitchen she turns around unwilling to not have the last word.

"You should shower before dad bumps into; you reek of booze and smoke." And then she disappeared upstairs.

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At one P.M she leaves out her back door and crosses over the hedges that separated the DiLaurentis and Hastings backyards. If she knew Spencer, which she did, she knew that the brunette would be out back sitting in a lounge chair with her nose stuck in a book.

She casually strolls across the grass unwilling to show her nerves. As soon as she she's Spencer exactly where she knew she'd be with her back to Alison. Feeling suddenly mischievous Alison quietly sneaks up on the unsuspecting brunette. Once she's close enough she peers over her shoulder wondering what book caught Spencer's attention this time. She quickly scans the book taking in the highlighted words and notations scrawled in the margins _typical Spencer, she even has to treat casual reading like it was a homework assignment._ When the words on the page register in her mind a smile appears on Alison's face.

"If you know the enemy and you know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles."

Spencer lets out a startled noise and turns her head around so fast Alison wondered if she gave herself whiplash.

"Alison?" the brunette asks in bewilderment.

"The Art of War really Spencer, didn't we already read that back in freshman year?"

Spencer closes her book and gets up out of her chair looking at Alison warily.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you obviously, is that a crime?"

Spencer crosses her arms and gives the blonde a hard look, "Well you are trespassing"

"I think I'll take my chances"

"With a cop? Sorry Ali but I think that's a little out of your league."

"Never say die Spence, I've been told I have a way with words, and my charm knows no bounds."

They both smile at their rapid fire banter and how easy it was to fall back into old habits.

"I've missed you Spence"

Spencer's smile disappears and her lips turn downward. "Well I've been right here"

"I'm sorry" Alison breathes, "I know I hurt you, but I'm here now because I want to fix it."

"You didn't just hurt me Alison, you abandoned me. We were supposed to have each other's backs but when something better came along you just left me behind!" Spencer snapped.

Alison felt herself become defensive, her plan for a peaceful conversation flying out the window.

"You're being dramatic Spencer, I didn't abandon you. I was still with you, it you who always chewed me out every time I told you I had other plans."

"Because you always made those plans after we already agreed to hang out!"

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is Alison. I can't even count the times you came over for a sleepover just to leave halfway through the night because there was some party you wanted to go to with your other friends, and then you wanted me to cover for you!"

"You could have come along Spencer, but it wasn't your _thing_ remember? I was just trying to make some new friends; you know expand my social circle, maybe you should have tried it instead of always relying on me to be there to entertain you!"

"What?"

"You heard me! God maybe I felt suffocated because you always were breathing down my neck, asking me a thousand questions about where I was going, who I was with, when I'd be back, I didn't need another parent Spencer." Alison wants to stop these words from tumbling out of her mouth but she can't, she felt like she was being cornered and her instinct were to attack.

"I was worried about you Alison. It was like you did a total on eighty on me and suddenly you were sneaking out and disappearing to god knows where at all times of the day and night! And it's not like your parents even cared, something could have happened to you, someone could have hurt you and I would have had no idea because you never told me anything anymore! I was your big sister Ali and I was supposed to protect you!"

Alison gulped, " _Was_?" she croaked out

Spencer seemed to deflate at Alison's defeated tone, "Yeah, _was_ , because obviously one day you decided you didn't need me anymore and left me for other people."

"But I always came back Spence. Every time I went out I still came back to you, and I'm here now. I still need my big sis Spencer; I don't really have anyone else right now." Alison said defeated.

"That's the thing Alison; I was always your second choice!" Spencer heaved, "When we were younger it used to be just us, Ali and Spence against the world remember?"

Spencer pauses and they both share a nostalgic smile at the catchphrase, remembering whenever one of them was feeling down the other would say it and it would perk them both up. The happy moment fades replaced by hurt and anger that was clearly displayed on Spencer's face.

"You used to look up to me and I would protect you, and you made me feel like I wasn't second best, like I wasn't running a losing race against Melissa, that all the feelings I had about my parents not loving me as much as her didn't matter because I had you! I had you and you cared about me, you needed me, you never expected anything from me, but then you just abandoned me. Every time we made plans, if something better came along you just ditched me! And then you just stopped coming around at all!"

"Spence-"

"And now," Spencer shakes her head trying to dispel the cloud of sadness that hung over her and tried to hang on to her anger, "Now you just decide to stroll over here and think an 'I'm sorry' will make it all better? Because what, your cool friends and revolving door boyfriends aren't talking to you anymore? Well fuck you Alison, I'm not just gonna fall in line because you snap your fingers and demand it!"

Turning on her heel Spencer marches back into her house without a second glance at Alison. For a while it's quiet. The sun continues to shine brightly, birds chirp in the trees and cars can be heard in the distance. Alison just stands there taking the silence in, her breathing shallow and eyes glossy.

Don't cry. Do not cry.

She chants this in a continuous loop in her head. The beginning of a headache begins to pulse behind her eyes. She tightly closes them and clenches her teeth.

Shooting one last look at the Hastings back door she finally turns around and goes home.

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"How do you make someone forgive you?"

The rustling in the kitchen stops and Emily peeks her head out of the kitchen.

"What?"

"How do you make someone forgive you?" Alison repeats shifting her body so she is no longer facing the TV and instead is looking at the brunette who was now leaning against the wall that leads to the kitchen.

"You can't make someone forgive you; they have to choose to do it."

"I don't get it, I apologize, they're supposed to accept and then we move on. It's simple."

Emily sighs and walks over to the couch sitting next to the irritated blonde.

"Alison forgiveness isn't simple."

"Yes it is people just make it more complicated than it needs to be. If I say sorry and promise not to do something anymore then that means I'm not going to do it. They should stop living in the past." Alison snaps, her entire body tensed with annoyance.

Emily bites her lip unsure of how to handle the situation. She tentatively reaches her hand out and touches one of Alison's balled up fists. The blondes' clenched hand loosens a little at the contact and Emily takes a chance and brings her other hand over to rest on that same hand.

"Sometimes we hurt people Alison. It doesn't mean it was always on purpose but it happens. But when you hurt someone and you want to make it better it shouldn't be about you. It's about the other person and their feelings. And forgiveness isn't easy especially when you do something that really hurts a person or betrays their trust. So all you can do is put yourself out there and wait while showing them that you won't fall back into old habits. Actions do speak louder than words."

Alison frowns and stares at her lap. She can't get the look of betrayal that flashed on Spencer's face out of her mind.

"Haven't you ever had someone do something that made you upset or feel betrayed?"

Alison thinks for a moment trying to remember a time she felt those negative emotions, and she struggles. Sure there were times when she was angry at someone but it was over petty things like when they wouldn't listen to her or give her what she wanted, childish anger. She never let someone close enough to hurt her and she built her walls high enough that she would attack everyone else before they could even think about trying to hurt her. She thinks about her parents and Jason realizing that their relationships have been skewed for a long as she could remember so couldn't even feel let down about their shortcomings. Then her mind turns to Spencer again and how she completely shut her out not even wanting to listen to her and it made her blood boil. It's been two days but the sting still felt fresh. How could she just turn her away, Alison was trying she was reaching out and trying to mend what she broke but Spencer didn't even want to try. She knows she messed up but they're supposed to forgive each other, that's how friendship works right?

"Ali?"

She's brought out of her growing frustration by a soft voice and gentle touch. She looks up from her lap and gazes into concerned brown eyes.

"Is this about whatever you had to do on Saturday? Because ever since you've seemed on edge."

Alison bites the inside of her cheek to stop the dismissive insult that wanted to roll of her. She was doing things different now, she really was but it was hard sometimes. Not trusting herself to speak just yet she lets the silence stretch between them and averts her eyes. She appreciates how Emily leaves her to her thoughts sometimes; it's a nice change from verbally lashing out at people who constantly try to get her to open up.

 _"Come on Ali we're friends you can tell us."_

 _"We all know the Alison DiLaurentis has some juicy drama going on in her life spill girl."_

 _"You always shut us out why don't you share something for once."_

Their probing voices float in her head but she knew what they really wanted, they wanted a weakness something to use against her. That's how it always was she saw it happen all the time when one of them would confess something that didn't fit the untouchable image the popular kids are supposed to exude. She was a constant perpetrator of this crime.

But talking to Emily was like talking to Spencer when they were younger, it felt safe. And she already messed up that one friendship because of her selfishness; she didn't want to ruin another. _Actions speak louder than words_ she repeats in her head. So she takes a deep breath and looks back at Emily who is looking at her with a comforting smile.

Alison reaches out and brushes a loose stand of hair behind Emily's ear, "Thank you" she says with sincerity.

Emily tilts her head in confusion, "For what?"

"For being here and being patient with me and for giving me a chance. You're honestly too good for me, all I do is hurt people, and yet for this past week all you've seen is the best in me, the person I want to be."Alison leans in and kisses the brunette on the cheek, "So thank you."

Emily flushes but flashes a beaming smile, "Anytime Ali."

Alison gives her a cheeky smile, "That's the second time you've called me that today."

Emily furrows her brow, "Is that okay?"

"Yeah" Alison giggles, "It's perfect, it sounds cute when you say it." Emily's smile turns bashful again but she accepts the compliment.

Removing her hand from Emily's face Alison get serious once again and takes a deep breath, "I think I want to tell you about what happened on Saturday now."

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 **MC:** Whew what a chapter huh? Tbh the first thing I wrote was Spencer yelling at Alison, ya know that whole _"That's the thing Alison; I was always your second choice!"_ speech. It was kinda tough writing around that, but I really enjoyed writing this chapter none the less.

Do you think Ali and Spence can make up, when do you think Ali will meet Hanna, how long will Ali and Em flirt with each other, what has Alison done to Aria to make her upset? (This is a serious question, I have no idea if Alison would have even interacted with Aria before in this AU so I don't know how to write my small bird in, all suggestions and ideas are welcome!) When will the fluff return from the war in this fic (next chapter hopefully), all these questions and more will be answered so stay tuned for more!


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